slayers_desire | trying to make the pieces fit ((Buffyverse plot))

Victor's holding her breath; she feels like she's watching an elaborate stageplay, staring at an oil painting, but it's in the part of the theater or museum that she's not allowed to go to. And the play or painting is violent and uncomfortable to look at. "Oh, no," she whispers, holding onto Ed's arm a little tighter.

Ed knows the signs of a heart attack when he sees them. He lets out a short gasp and holds on tighter to Victor's arm as well, shaking a little. He knows what it's like to lose a parent, especially to something that you can't control or do anything about. He lost his mother to an illness she hid from everyone—including her sons—until it was too late to do anything about it, when he was 10. This isn't exactly the same... but it's close enough for Ed to empathize very deeply.

Drusilla twirls, coming to a halt in her dance right in front of Clark. "Not challenging enough for the Man of Steel?"

"Open the pathway..." Another door(s) appear. "Lead the way."

April frowns, tightly holding onto Clark's hand. She glances back at the sight of Jonathan holding his chest... the family arriving too late to save him. "He lives on in our memory..."

"Let's move forward."

"Dad's death was one of the worst moments of my life. I've put it behind me, as much as anyone can. And despite what I thought at the time... it wasn't my fault." Clark stands up a little straighter as he speaks, looking at his dad, and doesn't turn away. Watching him collapse, seeing the rescue that comes far too late. Jonathan Kent's sacrifice was his own choice, and Clark won't dishonor him by refusing to see it. It's the least he can do for the man who gave him so much.

Then, and only then, he turns to go through the next door. If this memory was any indication, the others aren't going to have an easy time of it.

clark in Vic's memory-body is tied to a bed in a room with no windows, legs and arms, and there's a handsome man with dark hair, long and lean, and pale sitting on her legs, a knife in his hand, and Vic's memory body's cream-colored sweater is open to the chest, and the edges are brown with dried blood but there are no cuts to be found, only fresh scars.

She is seventeen and small.

He twirls the knife in his hand and bends over her with great relish, holding the knife the way an artist would hold a paintbrush. He responds to an unsaid statement, to the crying and pleading that the true Victor did at that moment in time. "No use begging, dear Vicky. I'm going to do whatever I want."

He leans down, hovering nose to nose, close enough that if she lifts her chin she'd touch him, not that she'd lift her chin. He presses a gentle kiss to Vic's memory body's lips and then drags the knife, blade down, hard along her ribcage.

By now the pain bothers Victor less than the sensation of her skin splitting, feeling it separate, feeling blood well up and flow.

It's the vastest helplessness a person can manage. Struggle against the bonds and the heavy rope will rub the skin off of your wrists. Scream and no one will hear. There is no hero. No one saves the day.

The real Victor is covering her eyes. "I want to leave, it's time to leave now, so let's go."

Ed starts to feel nauseous and has to cover his mouth for a moment before he turns away from the scene, rage and disgust filling him. Right now he'd like nothing more than to kick this dark-haired sadist's ass back to the stone age; but he can't do that, because he wasn't there, he didn't know Victor back then, and this is only a memory, in which he is a spectator. So instead he turns to Victor and gently pulls her into a hug, letting her lean on his shoulder, however she has to to get through this.

((Last tag for tonight, have to get ready for the concert :). See y'all later!))

April covers her mouth. She can only watch as Clark experiences what Victor once had to go through.

Just like Jonathan's death... there is nothing she can do to change it. Nor can she wish it away.

April glares at her mother. "Our worst memories... he is going to have to go through all of them?"

Drusilla smiled, as sweetly as she could. "He did ask."

April hisses softly, and joins Ed with hugging Victor. She calls out to Clark, but is also talking to Victor in a way... "We are here for you. You are not alone."

Clark was not expecting this, to be put literally in Victor's shoes, unable to move or speak beyond what she said and did at the time. He feels the pain of the knife the way she did, enduring as she had to. The only lifeline he has is that his friends are there.

And he would willingly put himself in her place if it meant sparing her this.

Victor is stiff in their arms but she leans her forehead against Ed's shoulder so she doesn't have to look. She whispers, "This is so embarrassing. Clark, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

Another cut, deeper this time and along her forearm, and another kiss, more insistent. "You know," he growls. "He wants me to let him out so he can heal you. But I think I'll have a little fun first. He wants you to know he's sorry. For whatever that counts."

He's in her friend's body. He's in her friend's body as he does this to her.

Which adds a layer of surreality. Clark is in her body while J is in Frea's body, but really, no one's there at all.

"Are you afraid?" J asks.

Real Victor at this moment must have said something smart alecky because she gets slapped across the face, and suddenly J's quiet with rage and he presses the point of his knife right under her chin, at that soft spot that moves when you swallow. "Are you afraid now?"

((Have fun!))

Edited 2013-01-06 00:28 (UTC)

((Okay, I lied a bit... In the intermission right now, and I have time to tag, so I am. :) And yes, I'm having fun!))

Ed refuses to watch what's happening, for both Clark's sake and Victor's. Inwardly, he's dreading the moment when Clark will have to confront his worst moment—and he's not even sure what it's going to be; that's how much pain and sorrow he's had to live through. He's considered a bunch of different events his worst memory at some point or another.

He tries not to dwell too long on it right now, and instead tries to focus on offering comfort to Victor, resting a hand on the crown of her head and the other on her back. And he still wants to beat the everliving snot out of J.

((intermission tag! awesome))

"What do you think lamb... is this challenging enough for the Man of Steel?" Drusilla purrs softly in April's ear.

April growls and turns, swiftly pinning her mother to the wall. "This is inhumane."

"Little lamb has not learned yet. The wolf must be fought." Drusilla signals and a door appears. Just outside of Clark's reach in the memory-body of Victor. "You may pass if he can open it."

If I can...? Clark's not sure if he can use his strength in Victor's memory-body, but he'll give it a shot. How else can he get to it? How did Victor get out of this situation, and when? For all he knows, they might be stuck here for hours before they can escape.

It doesn't do a thing to lessen his determination, though.

"I had to try to make him mad enough so that he wouldn't get handsy, but not so mad that he'd kill me. It... wasn't easy." She straightens up now, face flushed pink. She had to be brave. Clark was being brave, and she had to be brave, she had to stand tall. This was seven years ago. She's over it. She's mostly embarrassed that her best friends, and now her new friend, need to be in on this very private, terrible moment. She counts it a blessing that Ed isn't watching.

She continues in a hushed tone, "He was a telepath, so once he figured out that I was trying to control the situation, things got much worse for me."

The amount of cuts has reached six now, deep enough to make a person hazy. "It's not fun if you're not conscious," he mutters, and then there's something different about J. He's not J anymore.

"Victor?" he asks softly, voice a different voice, even his body language has changed. Not-J cares for her modesty enough to cover her up with his shirt before laying hands on her, and the bleeding wounds turn to pink scars. And, in response to what Victor says, "I love you too. We have to get you out of here before he takes over again." Hastily, he unties one wrist, his hands are shaking, he knows he can't hold him back much longer.

This could be Clark's chance, though in real life, Vic stayed for weeks.

((And I'm back! Concert didn't last as long as I hoped it would... but it was nonetheless absolutely incredible.))

Ed continues to keep one hand in contact with Victor after she straightens up, to show his support, then turns a furious death glare and growl on Drusilla. "This is disgusting!" he rages at her. "First you make Victor relive something this horrible, and then you make Clark go through it too?!" He wouldn't wish this kind of torment on his most bitter enemies, much less on someone he respects and cares about.

He's been trying not to listen, either, but he does take note of the abrupt change in J's behaviour. It doesn't do much to quell his anger—now aimed at Dru, rather than J—and he still doesn't turn to see what's going on. He just hopes that Clark can take the opportunity that's arisen with this development and get to the door.

Something changes when Victor started to be brave. It just wasn't that the moment in the memory changed too, with her friend reclaiming his own mind from J. But Clark would notice that he did indeed have his strength. That it would be easy to break free and reach the door.

Meanwhile, Drusilla giggled softly. "First... first... this is not first. This is second. Who will be next?"

"Clark... go for the door..." April moves away from Drusilla to return to Victor's side. "We can move past this."

Clark's not sure why things have taken such a turn, but he doesn't question it, breaking free of the other restraints. The knife wounds pull as he gets up and heads for the door, leaving a blood trail behind. This isn't the first time he's been in Victor's body, and oddly enough, it's almost easier than last time. Part of it is that she isn't as physically worn down as she was then, and part of it is the knowledge that she doesn't have to go through this again right now. He can endure it for her.

She's young, then. Her joints aren't grinding bone on bone, the impact damage is minimal; now she's working with the equivalent of being hit hard by five trucks.

She touches Clark's shoulder, gently, hand steady again for the first time since it seems like forever. "Thank you. And I'm so sorry you had to see this. Be in this. I'm just sorry."

When they go through the next door, one of the first things Clark might notice is that all of his right arm and his left leg from mid-thigh down won't feel... right. And actually, they won't feel like much of anything; there is some sensation, but... it's barely noticeable and roughly equivalent to the feeling of muscles tensing and relaxing—except it's wire tension, not muscle fibre.

Ed's memory-body is dressed much as the real Ed is now, except that his red coat is gone and the right sleeve of the black jacket he's wearing has been ripped off, bearing his Automail arm. He's also not wearing either of his white gloves.

He's running, through a darkened hallway in a large mansion, towards a set of open double-doors leading into a library that's also large and filled to the brim with books on Alchemy. No lights are on in either the library or the hallway; the only light source is dim moonlight filtering in through the library windows.

He'll come to a halt as he enters the library and sees a tall, lean, well-muscled man with spiky black hair slowly rising to his feet as though recovering from something, still doubled over slightly. A record is skipping a little in the background, having just run out of song to play. There's an Alchemy array on the floor, which the man is standing next to, a complex one with a Mercurial Cross incorporated into it. Memory-Ed was barely out of breath from sprinting after this man, who has kidnapped his younger brother.

Al... is nowhere in sight. Just this man.

Halting just past the doorway, memory-Ed had said, "I've found you, Greed!" Then he started walking towards Greed, steadily, no longer in a rush now that he's found his quarry.

Greed turns slightly so that his profile is visible; he has beady, violet eyes with slit-pupils, like a cat's. His only response to memory-Ed is a weary little chuckle.

The real Ed immediately realizes what memory this is the moment the group finds themselves in the hallway. There's an expression of dread on his face as he quietly says, "No, why this one?! Why does it have to be this?! He's... he's going to have to kill someone!"

This is the night Ed fought and killed the homunculus Greed. The first time he deliberately took another person's life—the first time he chose to kill. It originally happened just under a year ago, and Ed... well, the guilt from it still weighs heavily on his shoulders.

Edited 2013-01-06 23:09 (UTC)

There is no rest for the group as they move from another memory to another. April winces a second, when she watches Clark take on the memory of another person. Hearing what Ed says about this particular memory... She shakes slightly.

"Can't we do something?"

It won't be Clark's time feeling the desire to kill, but actually doing it... there's only one time he may have taken a life directly, and he's still not sure if he did or not.

He can't stumble in Ed's memory-body, more a passenger than a pilot, no matter how strange it feels. Nor can he look away from this man - this creature - that Ed calls Greed.

Better me than Ed, Clark tells himself, though he's not sure how true that might be.

Now it's Victor's turn to comfort, and she links fingers with Ed, squeezing his hand tightly. She can't say that it'll be alright, because, who knows. So she says, instead, in a low murmur, "I understand," which is certainly the truth. She hasn't killed anyone, but she got painfully close to killing J, after she started working as a hero. He attacked her again, made her helpless again, and she... retaliated. She hog tied him and left him in a room with a sonic device until she calmed down. She understands.

Edited 2013-01-06 23:52 (UTC)

Ed looks over at Victor, then gives her a very small, very strained smile, and squeezes back. He shakes his head at April's question and replies to her, quietly, "It all happened so fast... I don't think there's going to be a way for Clark to stop it from happening... And if I hadn't killed Greed, I wouldn't have known how to defeat the other homunculi..." He turns to Clark next and calls to him, "I'm sorry, Clark; this is one of the last things in the world I would've wanted you to have to go through."

Lying on the ground a short distance away is the body of an old woman that's been torn in half; the moment Memory-Ed spots it, he freezes, sickened anger filling him. The name Ed associated with that woman at the time was 'Dante', the woman who had taught his own Teacher, Izumi Curtis, Alchemy. "What the Hell...?!" He turns back to the homunculus and demands, "Explain this, Greed! What happened here?!"

Greed finally straightens up, sliding on a pair of sunglasses and shrugging. "Beats me; I was gonna ask you that, kid."

"You did this to her, didn't you?!" Memory-Ed demands, immediately jumping to that conclusion because they're the only two people here, and the blood is fresh. Greed doesn't reply, except to fully turn to face him. "Are you gonna answer me?!"

"Blame me if you want; I really don't care."

Memory-Ed has to look away to try control the rage. He's only partially successful. "How could you?! She was helpless!"

That seems to amuse Greed, who replies, "Tell me, Edward Elric, how could you go so far to protect your little brother?"

That makes Ed even angrier, something of a How dare he! reaction going through his mind. "And what does that have to do with anything?!"

Greed lets out a huff of breath, then says, "Feelings can be hard to explain." Then the smug little smile Greed's wearing (he has jagged, triangular teeth, like a shark's) disappears from his face, replaced by a neutral mask.

Momentarily confused, the anger disappears from Ed's heart, replaced immediately by worry. "What're you talking about? What've you done with Al?!"

Greed places his hands on his hips, and that slight, smug little smile returns again. "If you want him back, come on; you know what it takes."

Memory-Ed knows he's not going to get Greed to tell him where his brother is without a fight, and something like resignation fills him as he slides into a ready stance, hands raised in a guard in front of his chest, knife-edges facing out, sliding one leg back so he can be ready to lunge forward at a moment's notice. Greed, meanwhile, reaches up and takes off the fur-collared vest he's wearing as his skin starts to turn black and hard, the whites of his eyes turning red... Greed has shifted into his true form. The Ultimate Shield.

"Four little lambs... lost in the woods... hope in their hearts, but need to find more... wolves in their way, will they run?" Drusilla is singing softly behind them.

"Wolves?" April turns slightly. That is not the first time her mother mentioned wolves.

Clark's memory was short-lived, mostly because Clark had already made peace with that memory. Victor's memory was able to be conquered, once she faced it with courage in her heart. Maybe...

"Ed... I think you will need to make peace with this memory."

Would that work? Clark wonders. Greed doesn't scare him, but he doesn't look forward to seeing Ed's first voluntary kill up close and personal, either.

She glances, startled, up at the creature Greed became. She's used to really being in a place, for needing to have escape plans, and this is sort of unnerving. She gives his hand another squeeze, silent moral support.

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