slayers_desire | trying to make the pieces fit ((Buffyverse plot))

April hugs Ed tightly to her. "And you learned to transmute. You tried to prevent the death... but he manipulated you. And you became stronger because of that."

Ed facing the memory causes it to stop. And a white door appears. The last one.

April looks at it. She doesn't feel strong enough to face her 'wolf', even though she knows that she will have to. But at least, she is not doing it alone. "I will need you Ed and Victor... to help me deal with what is behind that door. My memory."

Despite being prepared to take on the entire memory if he had to, Clark is relieved when it ends. Ed's learned what he needs to learn from this, and that's more than enough.

He doesn't immediately move towards the door though, waiting for April to be ready. She's shared some of her darkest moments with him, and he's not sure which one lies beyond. Though he has his guesses. I love you, April. I'll gladly do this so you don't have to. He just wishes she didn't have to see it again.

She wraps her arm around April's waist, ready to lead her there, ready to support her (physically and otherwise). "This is the last one. After this... we're getting the magic rock or whatever. You can do this."

What is it with Clark's involvement in magic rocks. Everything in his life is a magic rock.

Ed leans into April's shoulder gratefully. Then he pulls away and mirrors Victor's gesture, wrapping his own arm around the other side of April's waist. "You helped me shoulder my burdens," he tells her quietly. "Of course I'll help you shoulder yours. That's what family does for each other."

He adds to Clark a moment later, "I'm sorry, Clark. For putting you through that. Thank you."

I love you too... I know you won't judge me... April answers mentally back at Clark. Then she accepts the support by both Victor and Ed.

With a deep breath, they open the last door.

It was strange seeing Clark in memory-Victor and memory-Ed's bodies. Even stranger to see him in her memory-body.

Memory-April is chained to table, that looks quite sacrificial. However, she is not the one that is going to be sacrificed today. There are a group of vampires watching over her and protecting her. They are praising her as the mother of the 'Blessed One'. Her memory-body is pregnant during this time.

A time that both Clark and Victor will remember, as they were the ones who rescued her.

But this memory comes before the rescue. The vampires have brought the 'mother' children, pleading with her to drink of their blood to feed the 'Blessed One'. April refuses... of course... but the vampires don't accept that as an answer. They tell her, "if you won't feed, we will feed you..."

And they bring out knives, their intent to sacrifice the children...

April feels her knees weaken... her very spirit weaken at this memory. She is leaning on Victor and Ed right now... sobbing from the memory. For those lives that are about to be taken.

Clark had been afraid it would be this one. She was in such bad shape when they rescued her, even if it wasn't physical... she had nightmares from this experience. And he doesn't fault her for it, not before, and certainly not now.

He wants to be able to close her eyes to this as he sees the glint of the knives in the vampires' hands, feeling her fear and grief like it's his own. The helplessness of being chained down, and unable to defend the children with her powers.

No. Not this one, no. Not the children.

It's going to be really hard to be strong for April. She had a breakdown the first time she came across the scene, and to actually watch it unfold.... But if this is about having courage, she needs to look. Or try.

It's different when you have children, to see something like this. Each part of her is aching to run and take them in her arms and protect them.

Ed hadn't met April when this event happened. He'd been fighting his way through the Vortex Traps at the time. And when he sees what's going on here... he's immediately filled with so much rage that he starts shaking again. He wants to protect the children just as much as Victor does, and he wants to rush over and break the chains holding April's memory-body. But this is another situation in which he can't do anything except be there for his friend. So he beats down the rage and hugs April again, holding on to her tightly.

The vampires don't go for a kill right away. They try to tempt memory-April with the smell of blood. A smell that is very tempting to her, especially carrying her child.

Memory-April is sobbing. Trying to break free of the magical bonds. It is a cruel game... her powers can sense the children's fears... but she can't use her powers to protect them.

April, in real-time, is breaking down again over this. She doesn't know what she should be learning from this... and she is sobbing again. "Why did this happen? Why did I have to..."

It wasn't your fault. Even though he's swamped with her memory emotions, Clark still reaches out to her in any way he can. You were stronger than them. You still are.

She starts crying, too, something she didn't do even during her own worst memory. She rubs April's back gently, but she can't give her a satisfactory answer. The only thing she thinks, but can't vocalize, is that terrible, evil abominations occur every day, everywhere, and that she was unlucky enough to be forced to be there.

And as soon as she thinks that, she's sure that that's the answer. "The fight against evil isn't... i-isn't a winning battle, a-all around the world there's genocide, ch-child death, and, and you were just there, April. The fight against evil is... it's walking with the best of you, it's doing everything you can, but no one can save the world. No one."

"You had no control over this," Ed tells her, quietly. "They forced you into this situation. I wasn't there, but I know you, and I know you did everything in your power to avoid hurting anyone, and to get out of that situation. This isn't your fault."

"I didn't know you back then... but I wish I had, so I could've helped you through it."

April takes a few sobbing breaths, trying to calm herself. She embraces the words of support from her husband and her friends. This was a moment of evil...

And she has to face it... so Clark and the other's won't have to.

"I had no control." She speaks. The images flicker. So she says it again, with more conviction. "I had no control. It wasn't my fault!"

"And I am still going to fight with all my heart to bring hope back into this world."

Her words stop the memory, right before one of the children was actually killed. There is a bright flash, and the four of them stand in the white room again.

A glowing blue ball floats in front of Clark. Courage shines from it.

Clark reaches up and takes it with only a moment of hesitation. "Courage..." They've gotten two 'rewards' so far, but he has a feeling that the pattern will continue until they each have one. Which means there is still more to come.

"Are you all okay?"

Oh thank you thank you thank you. She goes weak in the knees with relief that she won't have to watch this slaughter, leans her head briefly against April's shoulder, kisses her cheek. She feels her pulse hammering against her temples, the swish of blood in her veins.

"You're good. You did good," she tells April, as she wipes her eyes on the side of her wrist. She hadn't realized she was still crying.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm holdin' up okay. How's everyone else?"

Ed hugs April again and pulls away, taking a few deep breaths, eyes closed for a moment. He has a strangely serene expression on his face for a moment before he opens his eyes and smiles at Clark. "I'm good. I'm fine." He pauses, then adds, "Thank you again. For enduring all of that for us."

April gives a few more squeezes to both Victor and Ed... but right now she just wants to be in her husband's arms. And rushes over to him, to hug him tightly.

"You were so brave..." She whispers. In a way, she is glad that they didn't have to endure those memories on their own. That he was willing to experience them all, so they could stay together.

Meanwhile, for those who are paying attention to her, Drusilla is currently sitting at a small pink table in the middle of the room. Her doll, Miss Edith, is there with her. They are having a tea party (with no actual tea or cookies in sight)

Clark wraps his arms around her securely, and kisses the top of her head. "I'd do it again if it meant you didn't have to go through it." That goes for all of them, of course.

"I'm really sorry you all had to see that mess, but especially that Clark had to go through it," she says.

She approaches Drusilla's table, glancing at the teacups. She plays pretend with her daughters all the time, so she's not thrown by this sort of thing. "What kinda tea do you have there?"

Ed continues to smile at Clark. "That's why you're family," he tells Clark quietly.

When he spots Drusilla having her little tea party, his expression immediately changes to something much more suspicious. "She is creepy as Hell," he mutters under his breath.

Drusilla smiles up at Victor. "Care to join us? We get so lonely. Miss Edith was being naughty... so she is not allowed any cookies."

April watches from her spot in Clark's arms. A little unnerved herself, just by their whole experience, that she is not quite ready for something else.

"Why the games?" Clark asks Drusilla, still holding both April and the glowing ball that holds courage.

"Sure," she says, taking a little sip from her empty cup, lowering herself to the seat across from her. "Understandable. Sometimes you've just gotta give 'em natural consequences."

Ed doesn't say anything. There's really no need to at this point. He just keeps wary eyes on Drusilla.

Drusilla pours Victor a glass of tea. She leans in, whispering softly, "It can be any kind you like. That is the magic."

Looking up at Clark's question, she cocks her head as if confused. "Why do you breath? Why do you fly? Why do you protect others?"

"Somethings are just the way they have to be..."

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