recovering from an ordeal

[slayers_desire]

Clark and April had stayed in her home universe. It had been a day since the whole ordeal with the kidnapping and everything. April was still not talking about anything.

In fact, for the last couple of hours, she had stayed in the guest bed that the others had given the couple.

Comments

[kalel_ofkrypton]

Clark's been trying not to push, although he's still worried about her. He's been giving her as much space as she needs, never going far in case she wants him, and just to reassure himself that she's not going to disappear again. And reassure her that he's not going to either.

"How're you feeling?" he asks eventually, sitting on the bed next to her.

[slayers_desire]

"Everytime I close my eyes I can see those children." April whispers softly. "I can hear them. I can still smell them."

[kalel_ofkrypton]

Clark reaches out and rubs her shoulder, wishing there was some way he could take this burden from her. "I'm sorry."

[slayers_desire]

"I ran away..." April whispers. "I ran away because I was scared, and I still needed you to rescue me."

[kalel_ofkrypton]

"That doesn't make you weak." He's not sure how he can get her to believe it. "You didn't know it would be dangerous here."

[slayers_desire]

"I am just mad... because I got put in danger. Twice."

[kalel_ofkrypton]

She has good reasons to be angry, and Clark can't tell her otherwise, or cheapen her ordeal. What she went through is terrible, and there's nothing he can do to change it. "It isn't your fault."

[slayers_desire]

"How? I leaped without looking Clark. I ran away from one problem, because I didn't trust myself to take care of it. And into another problem, because I didn't think ahead."

[kalel_ofkrypton]

"You ran away because you needed to protect yourself and the baby. And you had no reason to think you'd be appearing in a situation like this." He knows it's small consolation, but it's all he has.

[slayers_desire]

"I wish I could have been stronger. Faced up to the threat at home."

[kalel_ofkrypton]

"I know some of how that feels." He's been captured and cornered before, and had to be rescued himself. Though it usually didn't entail so much pain and anguish on his part. "They knew exactly how to contain you, and it's nothing to be ashamed of that they got the upper hand."

[slayers_desire]

April takes his hand in hers, and closes her eyes for a moment. "I have been denying my vampire side again."

"After hearing what Drusilla and Darla went through during their pregnancies... I have been afraid of it."

"And denying it made me a target."

[kalel_ofkrypton]

He gives her hand a light squeeze, wishing he could take this pain from her. "You were afraid. That's pretty natural."

[slayers_desire]

"I don't want to be afraid anymore." April whispers. She knows that by being afraid, she is not being true to herself.

[kalel_ofkrypton]

"It's okay to be scared... so long as you don't let the fear control you." It's a lesson they've both learned well, but the kind of lesson that needs to be reinforced sometimes. Like now.

[slayers_desire]

"I know you love me as who I am. But, are you okay with this person... this me being the mother of your child?" Her voice whimpers slightly at the question. She is so scared that he doesn't want a vampire to raise his child.

[kalel_ofkrypton]

"Why wouldn't I be?" There's a small bit of frustration at himself. Hasn't he made this clear before that he loves and accepts her? Is he not saying or doing things right to prove that he loves and trusts her? He doesn't understand what he's doing wrong to make her doubt his faith in her.

[slayers_desire]

April looks up at him, sensing his frustration. She places her hands on his face. "Because of what we learned about Drusilla when she was pregnant. I just... damn... I just freaked out knowing I could do that."

[kalel_ofkrypton]

He reaches up and puts his hands over hers. "April... I love you. I trust you, unconditionally. Our baby could not have a better mother than you."

[slayers_desire]

She moves to hold him tight, releasing some tears that need to be cried. "And you are going to be a great father. You are always supportive of me."

"I should have talked to you about this sooner."

[kalel_ofkrypton]

"We agreed to be honest with each other. You're telling me now... though I wish it'd been sooner too." He's not mad at her, not in the slightest. A little hurt that she kept this to herself, but well aware that it's not about him.

[slayers_desire]

"I saw what Drusilla went through. Felt her pain. And I was scared for it."

[kalel_ofkrypton]

"You're not her. And what happened to her won't happen to you. I won't let it."

[slayers_desire]

"Can it be 'we'?"

[kalel_ofkrypton]

"Of course," he replies immediately. "Sorry."