Vampire with a Soul

Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
I aspire to live a full and happy life. By enjoying every moment I have with my friends, to bring joy to their lives, and by being there for them during their times of need.

I do not need fame or fortune. I am honored that I have been chosen to be one of the champions for the Powers That Be, like my father is. And I aspire to make him proud of me and my accomplishments.

After learning more control over my new powers, both thanks to Mewto and by facing some of my inner guilt, I aspire to embrace these gifts and use them to do good for those around me.

My ambitions include finding my niche in life and hopefully it will balance my love of creating art and fashion designs. I know that I can get there. I think I want to look into fashion school and have been thinking that Rome sounds like a pretty good place to start seeking that education. And maybe... someday I might set up a small seamstress shop in Metropolis.

To state that I aspire to remain in Clark's life as his girlfriend (and maybe someday possibly more) is an understatement. We are connected. In so many ways he is my soul mate. And we are stronger facing all the bumps of life as we both create our own destinies. He is a wonderful man. I aspire to make his life as happy and full as possible. To always be there for him.

( One Remains )

Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail
My favorite place to be is in the warm and inviting Kent farmhouse. It has come to feel like my home away from home. Even more so than my Nexus apartment.

Martha has been so welcoming of me. I can see the joy in her face because I bring happiness to her son. And I really do consider her as a source of motherly wisdom. I have even at times called her mom. It feels right.

Jonathan protects me as determined as he would Clark. He too has wisdom of a respected elder. I feel really close to him. The only thing that keeps me from calling him dad is the uneasy relationship I am trying to rebuild with my birth Father. I do not wish to disrespect Spike in any way. And I do wish to find a way to show Jonathan how much I respect him.

One of my favorite spots in my favorite place is the barn, where Clark has shared his world with me. His hidden treasures and the personal touches to where everything has a place. Even where the telescope is placed. And how he uses it at times to look at the spot where his world once was. And I enjoy the barn smell that lingers in the air when I am there.

I enjoy the smell of home cooking in the kitchen.
I love how the farm feels more than just a house... it is a home.

And I enjoy feeling accepted enough that I can fall asleep in Clark's arms on the couch. That our relationship and love have been embraced by those who are important in his life.

( Three Remain )

Day 25 – A first, in great detail
There were many firsts that occurred recently that I could have detailed. My first kiss. My first love. My first question asked in the Nexus. My first impression of my Father or of Buffy and her Scoobies.

Instead I have decided to detail the first time I learned of my psychic abilities to foresee the future. And how I discovered I could change the future... that not all things are necessary written in stone.

I was 16. Still living in Qua-Toth. During my youth I had adapted well to the "Darkest of Worlds" in learning some combat, embracing my enhanced abilities and believing all was natural with what I was. I had no understanding that I was different. That I was not where I belonged.

That was until one evening when a powerful dream assaulted me, showing me the truth behind my mother's abandonment of me. The truth behind that my Demon side was being seduced into control over me. And it warned me that if I remained where I was that I would become a true Demon in every sense of the world. That the vampire that already existed would take power, flourish under it and rule over others with an iron fist.

Honestly there was a temptation there to allow such power to rule my life. Fortunately my human side cried out for justice and for freedom. It cried out to be loved. It cried out to live a good life, instead of one where I would inflict pain and misery on others.

The dream was powerful enough that as soon as I awakened my life changed. I dedicated myself to finding a way to escape Qua-Toth and to learn more about my true heritage. It took me two years to find the magical portal, but I was determined not to become the Demon I had envisioned.

There are still remnants of that fate out there, I know this. I had encountered one in Germany that had tempted me again. It appears to be an easy road that would welcome me if I turned onto it. The challenge is to not take the easy way out. To fight for my own destiny.

To fight for those who need a hero. To be human. Flawed and loved all the same. And that even if I do not see it yet, that the influence of the warriors around me in Rome will inspire me to better things.

It might be my destiny "To Open" something of great power. Yet I have chosen to walk to path of the greater good and open their opportunities to save the world from the Forces of Darkness. And I believe that it was the right choice to make. That I can and will make a difference.

( Five Remain )

Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
There are many things that are guaranteed to make me feel better, especially during the twists and turns of life.

Seeing my friends. Especially when they have good news. There is nothing better than knowing a close friend is having an excellent day. Or has wonderful news to share with the world.

Cuddling in a blanket and reading a good book. And yes, I will admit it, on those really tough days I will go for the quart of ice cream too. There is something almost calming about taking a break from the day. 'Pigging out' and just losing oneself in a far-away world of fiction.

Hugs. I adore being hugged. I never have to find a reason to be hugged or to give out hugs either. It is a nice way to show friendship.

Talking to someone close to me about the problem. Or even at times, finding good advice from those not so close to me, but still wise in the Nexus. It always helps to have a sounding board for some issues.

And of course being in a strong relationship, where I feel free to talk to my boyfriend about anything. About any little problem (and the big ones too).

( The Rest )

Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
So after a couple of weeks in my home dimension, I had made it to Los Angeles in my search for my father. There had been a calling that led me to the right direction.

A part of me had still been on edge, because the search for my father had come shortly after I staked my mother. I had still been raw. Still felt abandoned. And well... had sought him out with the purpose of hurting him.

He had hurt when I told him that Drusilla was dead. But strangely... he never took the option of having her in his life, instead of me. And he freed me from the anger and abandonment. And for the first time in my life I let someone into my heart.

It was that day, I started staying with my father. It was at his side that I traveled to Rome. And while we still don't have the kind of relationship that most others do with their fathers, it is coming slowly. It is mending. And I am glad that I sought him out.

( The Rest )