slayers_desire | who are you... without your memories

Entry tags:

destiny

who are you... without your memories

Xander Harris piled all his Superman comics up against the pentagram he had engraved on the wall. He cut open his wrist, glancing over his shoulder at the woman in black behind him cautiously. She could attack him at any moment. But hopefully, his magical bonds around her wrists and ankles would keep her tamed while he was vulnerable.

They called him desperate... and after losing everyone important to him perhaps he was. Xander even mourned those that he disliked. There were very few heroes left. Times were desperate.

A few days ago Xander had captured the woman in black. She was important to his plan too. They claimed that she had the powers to make their world right again. To stop the evil. The problem was she was evil herself. Xander called her Lilith, basically because he had nothing else to call her and it seemed appropriate.

And right now, he was sacrificing the last few treasured memories he had. To fix the world, Xander needed to take Lilith to the Stone of Power. But he couldn't do it alone. He needed a hero. And his comics... this spell was his only hope.

He was asking for a Superman.

"He who seeks for the path, never knows where it will lead." The soft voice of the woman whispered behind him. Xander could feel her staring at him. He didn't care. He placed his blood onto the pentagram and opened the portal. This had to work. He had nothing else...

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"I don't think so either." She whispers in reply. "It calls to me... but not the right way."

"It's more than that. This whole situation... this whole place... something is wrong." Hesitantly, he reaches up and touches her face too.

"You are the only thing that feels right." She leans into the touch. A wave of emotions hitting her, ones that should make her scared.

She remembers always hiding her feelings. The fear of opening up to someone. Of protecting herself from hurt and pain. But she wants to let him in.

And it feels impulsive... and perhaps the wrong thing to do... but she leans up and kisses him softly.

He's surprised at first, but as she kisses him, he's more surprised to feel that this is right. He remembers not letting anyone get close to him, for fear of learning his alien origins, too afraid to reveal his heart. With her, now... it's like he knows there's nothing to fear.

He slides a hand up to cradle the back of her head, fingers twined in her hair, as if his body remembers what to do more than he does.

Everything there is too fear is released with that kiss. And it becomes more passionate when his hand cradles the back of her head. It feels so familiar.

Those fingers in her hair...

The memories start to return. Slow at first. Flashes... but she knows he is what is missing. And just kisses and embraces him determined not to let him go.

He's not quite sure when he crosses the line between the false memories and knowing who she is, but by the time they pull away a little to breathe, he whispers her real name. "April..." And he reaches out to the bond, that connection that he now realizes was always there, just keeping them blind to it.

It is like a different world when he reaches out to the bond. "Kal-El..." She whispers one of his names.

She definitely knows the world around them is fake now. He is real. And that is the most important thing.

"They tried to take you from me..."

"I'm sorry... how could I forget you?" His wife and soulmate, mother of their child, and he looked at her as though she was a stranger.

"My life was so dark without you in it." She breaths against his chest. Safe in the familiar embrace of her husband and soulmate, father of their child.

"I'm back now." He gives her an extra squeeze, reassuring himself that it's her, and she's really there. "And so are you."

Now that she knows the world around her is fake... she can use her abilities to break them both free of it. They stand in her universe yes...

But there is no mountain. No hatred-filled Xander.

They are in a white room. Nothing around them and a lone door at one end.

"We were brought here by Illyria... This is the White Room. The conduct where one could speak to the Wolf, Ram or Hart."

"So we were right about what was calling you. Just for the wrong reasons."

"Definitely the wrong reasons. I fear we would have lost each other for good if I had listened to the call of 'jump'."

The thought is almost too much for her to think about. And he is squeezed tightly in her embrace.

"But you didn't." He kisses the top of her head. "Let's get out of here."

It is a good suggestion. One she gladly agrees with. She takes Clark's hand in hers, and heads towards the door.

But looks back when they reach the exit.

"I don't know what you were looking for... or testing... but I hope you realize that our love is something you can't destroy. And I won't let you destroy our love... or the love of any other innocent."

"Well said." He doesn't know if anyone was listening, but it doesn't matter. They beat this, enduring yet another trial together. And everything she said is the honest truth.

They beat this. And right now, April just wants to be with her husband. He will sense a lot of those emotions through the bond.

Even if she keeps herself restained on the outside, until they leave the building.

"The others will still be at the base. Illyria had claimed she knew something the others didn't. Victor was right that we couldn't trust her. I am glad not everyone came with us."

"So we're back to square one?" Even though what they just experienced wasn't real, they were so close to fixing her world. It's frustrating to realize that it actually wasn't.

"No..." She turns to face him. "Even though they tried to take something from us... they failed."

And she gives him another kiss.

After the kiss, he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He's still upset, but lets it go. "Are you all right?" She hasn't been burned by sunlight since the time she was losing her soul, and though she heals fast, and might not have been truly burned, she still has to remember it.

She remembers the pain... even though there are no wounds on her body. She remembers being hungry too...

And shares those emotions with him through the bond.

"I am mad. But I know they attempted to destroy us... because we are a threat."

"That should be their last mistake." This isn't the first time that forces from her world have tried to interfere, to take out April and her husband. And while he's sure it probably won't be the last, he hopes it is.

"As soon as you entered in my life... I knew you were different. They couldn't change that."

April remembers how kind he was to her, how he believed in her. And he didn't even know who she was.

"I could tell something wasn't right... things didn't add up, but I didn't remember questioning them." Like why he would've been living in an apartment by himself, for instance.

"You made the madness stop. You helped me see the light. And you returned my affection..." April was glad that they weren't separated with those fake memories.

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