slayers_desire | better to seek permission than forgiveness

Entry tags:

art projects,
clark

better to seek permission than forgiveness

April returned to her Kansas apartment fueled with inspiration, and eager to return to some awaiting art projects after receiving good advice from the Nexus. It was good timing too, as her university had its Spring Art Show, where she won first place for Freshman the year before. It would be harder to achieve another first in her second year of university, with increased competition, but April was going to submit her best work and hope for the best.

She had a couple of pieces that were uncompleted, but inspiration hit her to start from scratch on a new piece, using metals as her medium. As her heart and mind were on Clark, and the struggles he had faced recently, that flowed into the art piece. She was expressing her belief of him, the unspoken turmoil of not having a lot of 'relationship' time, and the emotions she felt from their bond as Clark struggled with issues that were often kept unexpressed.

It was a good piece when it was completed, but there was one problem. April couldn't submit the artwork without checking with Clark first. Last year, her worries were that she was expressing too much of herself. This time, she really didn't want to accidentally betray his trust or his secret.

Covering the piece for now, April picked up the phone and called him. A glance around her apartment at other options just in case she needed them.

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"No one will know its me." She smiles, "Except you that is."

"And a personal piece won the art competition last year."

"That's true." He's no art critic, of course. "If you feel confident that this is what you want, I say go for it."

"I really think that using a new medium is my key to standing out this year." April feels a lot more confident about her art pieces this year, than she did last year. She is growing to accept her natural talent. And be proud of it.

"Besides, it took a lot of trial and error to get the silouette right, and I might as well throw the dice to see what people think."

"No way to know if it's a success unless other people get to see it," he agrees. "It's nice to see you experimenting. Why'd you choose this to work on?"

"The metal?" April still doesn't get that Clark might understand the emotions behind her subject choice. "I really wanted something that required a lot of hands-on work. And I got to play with the forge at the university."

"That sounds pretty cool. You'll have to show me sometime." He's seen forges before, but only in blacksmith shops, and he's not sure how an art-related forge might be different. Or how to make stuff like this.

"I, uh, actually meant more about the subject matter."

"Oh." April paused for the right words. "Its expresses passion. Unexpressed desires. The part of me that wants to let go."

"So I channeled it into an art piece." It was a lot healthier than worrying Clark about something that he didn't need right now.

"A safe sort of outlet." He touches the work again, absently tracing the lines with his hand. "And one you could work out without necessarily needing an audience."

Watching Clark touch the art work, April feels a familiar sexual tension that had inspired the art piece. "I had fun doing it."

"I had to use the camera to take different silouettes, until I found one I was happy with to use for the piece."

"I'd been wondering how you got a visual reference." He hadn't suspected she'd invited anyone to take pictures of her, but it makes him feel a little better regardless to know that this was a solo project. "Good thinking."

"Hey, any excuse to pole dance in my own living room."

Okay, she gets a little laugh out of him for that. "Anything for your art."

"I am glad you were able to come. Your advice has been helpful."

"No problem. It's not like I was doing anything important." He feels a little bit foolish for obsessing so much over the Zoners, even though he knows they're a legitimate threat. And especially for being so mired in his feelings about what happened with Titan. He still hasn't quite made his peace with that. "You know your work is important to me."

"I am glad I have one true fan."

April knows that Clark mostly likely was thinking about the Zoners. And how to deal with the last one. "No word on the last Zoner?"

"Not so far. I don't know where to even start looking yet. I'm just glad that it's a phantom." He's not sure what he would do if he was faced with needing to kill another person again, even a Zoner. The more he's thought about it, the more he's sure that Titan's actual death was an accident, but only because Clark had wanted to beat on him a lot longer than he did.

"Anytime you need, I could channel my voices to get a reading on the last one." April offers. She knows that it is unlikely to get Clark back to his relationship mode before all the Phantoms are dealt with.

He reaches out and takes her hand, and gives it a gentle squeeze. "I know. And I really appreciate it. I'm just not sure if this is something I should do on my own or not, yet."

She smiles softly. Looking down at their two hands, she really misses these moments. "You know if you need me, I am here. And if you need to face this alone... I will understand."

"Thank you." He's always grateful to have such a patient and understanding girlfriend. "I don't know what's going to happen or where this is going to take me, but you'll be the first to know."

"I like being first in your thoughts, even with all this going on." April touches his cheek. She feels so guilty about missing him so much... when he has such an important enemy to fight. A mission to complete.

"Even when you're not there, you're still with me all the time. I take you with me wherever I go, no matter how far or for how long." As always, his words are from the heart.

His words touch her deeply. And April feels even more embarrassed about some of her recent self-confidence issues because of Sloth.

"Now I feel silly. For doubting myself a little."

"It's okay to question yourself once in a while." If it wasn't, he'd be guilty of it all the time. "I'm sorry I've been too focused on myself to notice like I should've." First he was too angry, then he was too... Kryptonian. Working through the aftermath of the fight club.

"I have my own outlet. I was still recovering from Sloth's attack, and haven't felt like myself."

April looks over to the Untamed picture. "Didn't feel sexy. Until I was able to channel some of my doubts into my art."

"Maybe you need an outlet. Something you can do to channel some of your inner questions. But still something you can set aside when destiny calls."

((bed calling me))

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