nonvillainouscipher: (Burn scars)
Keln'iveria'nalissomo/Niverian/Cipher Nine ([personal profile] nonvillainouscipher) wrote in [personal profile] slayers_desire 2015-01-14 09:26 pm (UTC)

Most of Ed's fears have something to do with losing the people he cares about most. A few old memories bubble up, of the night he and Al tried to revive their dead mother. There are few times in recent memory when Ed remembers being as scared as he was that night. His current fears don't vary too far from that, either. What scares him most is never seeing Al and Winry again—either he'll die before they can come home, or they'll die before then.

But he lives with those fears pretty much every day—and while things are currently quiet for the Saviours, they aren't always, and every time something comes up, there's always the risk he won't come back from it. Ed's fears are still frightening, but they're aren't crippling. He presses on, and tries to avoid as many of the brambles as he can.

Cipher Nine's fears, on the other hand, are of a much different variety. He isn't often terrified to the point of inaction anymore, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel fear. The first fear that bubbles up for him is of learning of his parents' death, having been scared for how he was going to live without them. The next, and greatest, is of the day he got his burn scars, the day the little colony of Ord Jarta was attacked by terrorists. That day was followed by his moment of greatest hope, of course—the moment when he met the man who would one day adopt him and groom him to become a Cipher. Innumerable moments of fear follow that. Particularly relevant at the moment, the fear that he won't be able to stop the conspiracy. The fear of losing Purple to them (or to anyone else, for that matter). The fear of becoming a monster in service to the Sith Empire. The fear of losing his free will and sanity, which he nearly did once.

Like almost all Intelligence agents, though, Cipher Nine has ways of coping with his fears. And as each fear rises up, he utilizes those methods, and starts trying to avoid the brambles as well. He glances back a few times, pausing when he sees Buffy, Angel, and Wes struggling to get through, pondering helping them for a moment. Ultimately, though... they aren't in any actual danger, and he's certain this is one of April's mental defenses. And Clotho had said that Atropos wouldn't allow Buffy and Angel into the cave anyway. So, with a heavy exhalation, Cipher Nine presses on.

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