Ed would not appreciate being Alice. Ed would not appreciate being Alice. She has to keep repeating that to herself, because, oh, she is tempted.

Ed would be Alice, though, she thinks, the character who plays it straight, the real person in a land of madmen. The main character.

April's awesome brain powers would make her the Caterpillar.

And Clark, of course, would be the White Rabbit, ever so responsible.

She thinks that saying it aloud would make it true and by keeping silent she won't Alice-ify poor Ed. Alas, she is wrong.