slayers_desire (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
slayers_desire) wrote2011-03-19 05:25 pm
slayers_desire) wrote2011-03-19 05:25 pm
Entry tags:
coming to terms with death
When it really came down to the heart of the matter, going to the Nexus had really helped April get her head together. True she wasn't done grieving for Jonathan. Or coming to terms about her own death, or how both deaths have devastated Clark.
But at least April was not in the bad spot that she was before. Instead of thinking that being out of Clark's life would improve the situation, talking with Alice, Connor and even Arthur had helped her to see those thoughts were not the answer. True they were both hurting right now. But it was okay to be in pain. And right now April needed to allow that pain to settle in.
Coming home, April was glad she had no school commitments for a couple of days. She had heard that Clark had to quit his own university commitments because of the difficulties of handling the farm for Martha. And she supported his decision. But April really had nothing else beside Clark that connected her to the Smallville universe beside her university classes. So she had to try to keep her mind clear, so when it was time to return to university, she would be ready.
Needing time alone, April turned off the lights in her apartment, lit some candles, and drew herself a bath. The warm waters of the bath were able to catch her many tears, and April allowed her emotions to surface and cried for several minutes. Strangely, the floating sensation helped her get through the moment. April was able to close her eyes and remember how she felt totally free from the world in the waters. It was pretty close to the same sensation of flying, which April really couldn't do without Clark.
After the bath, April went to the comfort of her bed. She cuddled into the blankets, and stared at the walls. Her eyes finally rested on the small Oak tree that sat on her desk, her Christmas gift from Clark. And it gave her comfort. Enough hope that in time, after grieving on their own, that she and Clark would be able to return to a happy relationship. Alice had reminded her that Future-Clark had been a strong person, who still had his April. And that meant that things would get back to normal. Someday. It just wasn't going to be tonight.
But at least April was not in the bad spot that she was before. Instead of thinking that being out of Clark's life would improve the situation, talking with Alice, Connor and even Arthur had helped her to see those thoughts were not the answer. True they were both hurting right now. But it was okay to be in pain. And right now April needed to allow that pain to settle in.
Coming home, April was glad she had no school commitments for a couple of days. She had heard that Clark had to quit his own university commitments because of the difficulties of handling the farm for Martha. And she supported his decision. But April really had nothing else beside Clark that connected her to the Smallville universe beside her university classes. So she had to try to keep her mind clear, so when it was time to return to university, she would be ready.
Needing time alone, April turned off the lights in her apartment, lit some candles, and drew herself a bath. The warm waters of the bath were able to catch her many tears, and April allowed her emotions to surface and cried for several minutes. Strangely, the floating sensation helped her get through the moment. April was able to close her eyes and remember how she felt totally free from the world in the waters. It was pretty close to the same sensation of flying, which April really couldn't do without Clark.
After the bath, April went to the comfort of her bed. She cuddled into the blankets, and stared at the walls. Her eyes finally rested on the small Oak tree that sat on her desk, her Christmas gift from Clark. And it gave her comfort. Enough hope that in time, after grieving on their own, that she and Clark would be able to return to a happy relationship. Alice had reminded her that Future-Clark had been a strong person, who still had his April. And that meant that things would get back to normal. Someday. It just wasn't going to be tonight.